Why I Stopped Measuring Wellness in “Good” or “Bad” Days

We've all been there—lying in bed at night, tallying up the wins and losses of the day. Did I eat enough vegetables? Was my workout intense enough? Did I spend too much time scrolling through Instagram? These questions often lead us to label our days as "good" or "bad." But what if our understanding of wellness is skewed by this binary mindset? When I stopped boxing my days into these rigid categories, I uncovered a deeper sense of well-being. Let's explore how shifting our perspective on wellness can lead to more balanced, fulfilling, and enjoyable lives.

Understanding the Binary Trap

The habit of labeling our days as "good" or "bad" often stems from a deeply ingrained human preference for simple answers and quick judgments. According to psychologist Dr. Susan David, author of Emotional Agility, this binary classification can create emotional rigidity, rendering us less adaptable to life's complexities. It forces a simplistic narrative onto a typically multifaceted experience—our daily lives.

The Problem with “Good” and “Bad”

Labeling a day as "good" or "bad" often involves a moral judgment. For instance, a healthy meal makes you "good," while indulging in dessert makes you "bad." But this moralization oversimplifies our experiences, fails to credit nuanced emotions and actions, and ultimately limits our understanding of wellness.

Instead of helping us find balance, the good/bad dichotomy can perpetuate self-criticism and perfectionism, leading to burnout. When we tether our sense of achievement to an unchecked list of criteria, we confine ourselves within a narrow corridor where self-worth fluctuates daily.

Redefining Wellness

So, what is wellness if it's not a simple sum of our “good” and “bad” deeds? Wellness is a holistic approach that encompasses mental, physical, and emotional health. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) emphasizes that wellness involves an ongoing, conscious effort to make choices for a healthy and fulfilling life.

This broader view takes into account our everyday fluctuations and aligns with a continuous journey rather than the pursuit of an end goal. It encourages us to shift focus from daily labels to long-term values and intentions.

The Power of Intention

Embracing a wellness mindset that's intention-driven, rather than results-driven, can pave the way for more meaningful progress. An intention anchors your wellness journey in the present moment and provides a purpose that transcends immediate outcomes. For example:

• Mindful Eating: Instead of eating "healthy" every day, aim to eat mindfully. This means listening to your body's hunger cues and savoring the food without guilt, which leads to a more satisfying and balanced relationship with food.
• Joyful Movement: Exercise shouldn't be a punishment for what you ate. Focus on movement that brings joy, be it a run, a dance class, or a leisurely walk with a friend. This intention turns movement into a celebration of what your body can do.

Embracing Life's Fluctuations

Acknowledging that life inherently includes peaks and valleys helps release the pressure to label each day in binary terms. Consider adopting a mindset that accommodates life's naturally occurring fluctuations.

Emotional Resilience

Psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman, known for his work in positive psychology, emphasizes the importance of resilience in fostering happiness and well-being. Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt to stress and adversity without clinging to a binary evaluation. In practical terms, this means:

• Acceptance: Acknowledging that having a bad moment doesn't equate to having a bad day.
• Self-Compassion: Offering yourself the same kindness you would extend to a friend. It's okay to have days when you don't feel your best.
• Growth Mindset: Viewing challenges as opportunities to learn rather than tests of character.

Practical Ways to Measure Wellness

Moving beyond “good” or “bad” requires us to find alternative ways to assess our wellness journey. Here are some practical strategies:

Daily Reflections

Instead of evaluating your day at its end, engage in reflective practices to appreciate its entirety. Consider if your actions aligned with your intentions rather than whether you met predefined standards. Reflective journaling can be a powerful tool for this self-exploration.

Creating a Wellness Spectrum

Imagine your wellness as a spectrum rather than a binary switch. Some days may be more physically active, while others may be more internally focused on mental health. On this spectrum, there's room for all experiences without the pressure to categorize them as right or wrong.

Life in Focus: Takeaway Tips

1. Embrace Intention Over Compulsion: Start each day with an intention that suits your current needs—whether it’s to be kinder to yourself or more present in your interactions.

2. Reflect with Perspective: At the end of the day, ask yourself what you learned and how you felt. Reflect without labeling, allowing yourself to process the day without judgment.

3. Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and appreciate small accomplishments that align with your values. Whether it's choosing water over soda or hitting the sack early, every small step counts.

4. Foster Resilience: Practice acceptance and self-compassion. Remind yourself that wellness is a journey, not a destination, and that progress is more important than perfection.

5. Cultivate Variety in Movement and Rest: Listen to your body's cues for activity and rest. Balance intense workouts with yoga or meditation, fostering a holistic sense of well-being.

Good Vibrations: An Encouraging Conclusion

As I leaned into this renewed perspective on wellness—one that transcends judging days as simply “good” or “bad”—I discovered a more nuanced, compassionate, and realistic approach to living. By embracing life's innate complexities, finding resilience in its fluctuations, and focusing on intentional living, we broaden our horizons toward a more fulfilled existence.

Wellness, after all, is about steady progress and smart choices. It's not just about moving along the path, but about enjoying and learning from the journey. So, let's redefine our measure of well-being, one intentionally lived day at a time.